||[Aug. 18th, 2003|12:03 pm]
so the funeral is pushed back to saturday -- memorial service thursday.
this shit is all too weird. i've seen people die before -- family, friends my age, younger than me, what have you. i a lost a close college friend in november. i lost a theater colleague in 2000. and there have been others, whom i won't detail out of respect.
but this one...this is going to be the hardest thing i ever deal with.
i'll be seeing everyone soon, but with the good comes the bad. thank god ive got erin to bear it with me.
i'm starting to lose it. i called a friend who didn't know him, and choked on words. all i really want to hear is something that has nothing to do with this -- something totally meaningless and foreign. i want this to go away, and i want him to be back on the stage, back in dance studio three, back being an adorable young miscreant that had a tendency to spit milkshake all over me and scream, "Splooge!" seventeen years isnt enough.
it's time to get that fourth tattoo.