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(no subject) [Aug. 9th, 2003|04:47 pm]
[mood |geeky]
[music |Beatles]

I'm going to get my hair cornrowed!! heheheheheh....

now, the big problem. this cornrowing requires me to sit still for upwards of ninety minutes. i figured i'd take a book.

here are the possible titles i could take...well...the only titles i have to choose from....because im in hawaii and left my library at home.

Einstein's special and general theory of relativity.
A Brief History of Time
The Art of War
The Philosopher's Stone (and no, not the Harry Potter one -- i frickin wish...the beat up waterlogged copy written in 1928 that i shelled out forty bucks for at nimbus 2003)
Polynesian Tattooing (HEY! it looked interesting at the time....)

looks like its gonna be people magazine. don't wanna fall asleep and have the poor hairdresser yank out a braid (cause then ill kill her).

Everyone go out and rent the movie UHF. It's funny, hahaha.

gotta go get burned!
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(no subject) [Aug. 9th, 2003|04:33 am]
[mood |NOTHING!]
[music |NOTHING!!!!]

dudes, and fellow dudes....

I've never been so humiliated in my life!!!

I am burned on ONE LEG!!! JUST ONE!!

how shameful is this, i ask you? I limp as though i were 72 years old, instead of 21! i'm crying foul play on this, let me tell you....

have to go home on monday. DAMMIT! 104 DEGREE WEATHER!! I DARE ALL TWO OF YOU ON MY FRIENDS LIST TO PUT UP WITH THAT!!! (PS: the third chick on my friends list lives there in the summer -- she is excused -- back to what i was saying) YES, try dealing with 80 percent humidity and 104 degree hotness!!! i want to rip my hair out sometimes!! many times. all times...hopefully it will be cornrowed hair tomorrow. that would be sweet.

he still hasn't emailed back.......dirty fucking swede....

just wait, mr. swede....i'm learning ur language! i'm already enrolled! just wait til i can tell u EXACTLY what i think of u in perfect swedish! HAHAHAHA! i win.


but i always win.

its the spicy spanish blood.

(footnote: i dont always win, no. this is an overstatement. let me play it up. please?? *smiles beautifically*)

damn the footnotes. i want cornrows in my hair. NOW!

That is all....

*slinks away quickly...nicotine calls*
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(no subject) [Aug. 8th, 2003|02:44 am]
[mood |Zippy, like a tailless cat]
[music |bloody Mtv]

i've come to some seroius illumination this evening. for one...i spelled the word serious wrong earlier. too tired to bother with fixes. i'm watching Mtv, which is weird in itself, since i tend to avoid this station like i avoid contaminated meat and buildings with bombs, and the videos im seeing r just...well geez, i would love to scathingly comment, but there simply r no words.

take OFF that Oilers jersey Puff Daddy!! u never lived in houston! only those of us that had to live through and bear the neverending shame of the oilers can wear that jersey!! it's like surviving smallpox!! nothing ruins a cities morale like a national joke of a sports team.
for those of u keeping track, id say its rather obvious i just saw a puff daddy video. or p ditty. or p fatch. soon he wont even have a name. he'll be the playa formerly known as the artist who changed his name before. and he will be denoted by a great big diamond. haha. oh wait -- now we have a coldplay video, and thank fucking god.

some soulful, decent music. ok -- so it aint great. not my first choice, but shit, i'll take anything that doesnt have a million chicks shaking their asses. quick rundown of the trash they have played so far...

Mya -- a mediocre artist at best, i'd have to say. the title of her video: My loves like...Wo
goddammit bitch, get ur skinny ass back to school and learn how to spell, for starters. secondly, the lines of her song seem to follow a pattern..."my loves like wo, my bodys like wo, my ass is like wo, u know u want this baby, dig this baby"
apparently modesty isnt something mya's after. she shakes it, works it, displays it, and i'm sure plenty of male watchers r doin the same damn thing.
go home mya -- ur killing me with a tiny knife. thats two and half minutes of my life that i will NEVER get back! damn u...

50 cent. title of video: "P.I.M.P." do i really ave to say anything about this bullshit? u ain't gettin a dollar outta me, cause i'm a mothafuckin p.i.m.p. actually u r a CRACK DEALER!!! get him outta my sight! NEXT!
footnote: snoop dogg was pointedly left uncriticised. (no, i didn't spell 'uncriticised' wrong. thats how they spell it in britian. fuck off!) this is because snoop dogg rules. he's paid his dues -- ill overlook his former drug charges, and the fact that he is a convicted felon. dude...bow wow wow yippeeyo yippeeyay. don't call me a hypocrite! *chases off screaming mob with a large candlestick* one last time for good measure *whips out P.A. system* Snoop is a "mothatfuckin P.I.M.P.". he should sing that song. stick ur magic stick straight up ur ass 50 cent. now beat it!!!

more asses are shaking. does it ever stop?

dude, i'm on a damned roll, why fight it? this shall be termed as day of nonstop bitching. and dammit, i earned it. i puked off the side of fishing boat, AND we didn't get any fish! not even a bite! my vomit was orange, for anyone that cares to know this. hahah.

i saw this interesting new series today -- probably WB, always is. it was entitled "The O.C." definitely hooked me, however, this is because of all the hotties they have cast in the show. anyways, its sort of a fresh prince of bel air basis, except there is no laugh track and the main character broods more than anakin skywalker. anyways, he goes from rags to riches, by hitting the lottery when his public defender takes him under his wing in newport beach cali. then he goes to a "rich kid" party. and suddenly, i realized all the things i was missing!
by rarely going to parties at my high school, i was obviously missing these insane, high class parties where hired girls dance in bikinis, teens drink cocktails, people do lines on tables out in public, and everyone is model thin and wears designer.
dammit! why didnt someone tell me about this!!??

i just saw the funniest commercial ever. this guy puts a quarter in a condom machine, and the thing won't give him his purchase. so he starts smacking the machine, throwing things at it, karating it, divebombing it, and at the end, the machine goes MWAHAHAHAHA and spits a condom out over the guys lifeless body. hahahaha!

AHHHHHHHHH!!! A J-Lo video!!! Jens only known kryptonite!!! *dies and melts from pure disgust* HAHA, ur movie BOMBED! dirty slut! bitch! massive ASS! stealer of my time!! this is MY time J-Lo, get ur ring studded fingers off!!

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(no subject) [Jul. 30th, 2003|03:35 pm]
[mood |Dying of Nicotine withdrawal]
[music |My own screams]

You are BEER
You are Beer

What Alcoholic Drink Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Anyone who is surprised by this can personally come and see me for a flogging.
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(no subject) [Jul. 30th, 2003|03:16 pm]
That jerk still hasn't replied to my email -- Jen=furious. But dealing.
...would be dealing MUCH better if i weren't out of cigarettes, and completely stranded miles away from any convenient store. therefore, they shall be called inconvenient stores. because it would totally suck to walk all the way out there.
and shamefully...i'm thinking of doing just that.
DAMN NICOTINE! DAMN YOU!!! i want a frickin cigarette so bad, i can taste it...

in other news, my inbox is absolutely flooded with email -- most of which is post-Nimbus 2003 shite. i've yet to deregister from that yahoo group entitled "Harry Potter for Grown-Ups", but i plan to do so promptly. there are 430 emails in my mailbox *rips out hair*

Most people loved Nimbus 2003, but, to be perfectly honest, i found it a bit...well shit, i just didn't like it much.
i met a few cool people, but i also met a lot of "Harry Potter Elitists" if you will. i saw this one chick flip out at one of the luncheons (we were at the same table). another girl dared to ask her if she had dressed up as Trelawney -- probably because of the green dress and flowy, beaded shawl. oh the humanity...
"I'm NARCISSA!" she wailed. nuts....i'm tellin ya...

so i spent most of my time checking out disneyworld with my sis. although i did get major wrecked and have a major good time at Fiction Alley's birthday party. Sadly, I missed Anise's presentation due to an angry hangover -- no one tell! i met her at one of the luncheons, but i'm pretty sure she had no clue who i was (guess i'm damn quiet on P.o.F.).

eh. I got a tight picture from splash mountain of me and my sis screaming down the fall. and i got to see the guy who wrote "the science of harry potter" speak -- that was damned cool. i walked around in epcot in the pouring rain. i did the haunted mansion and pirates of the carribean. unfortunately, they have not made johnny depp part of their ride yet, and for this atrocity i sent a strong worded letter to the fascist bastards who run disney.

I NEED A CIGARETTE! I'm going to go cry now.

by the way, the food at disneyworld was fricking great. and i'll defend that to the death!
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(no subject) [Jul. 30th, 2003|02:51 am]
[mood |cheerful]
[music |NOFX]

I am in Hawaii. And GODDAMN is it beautiful.

However, it is raining right now. Granted, I can live with the rain -- it's kind of pretty. The only drawback is that it limits my smoking section quite seriously -- i can now only light up underneath significant outcroppings of roof. and far away from the very open windows and doors, lest i incur the smoke-despising wrath of my hypocrite-former smoker-father.

I have writers block SOOOO BAD! and i am learning of the significant downfalls of MAC computers -- the most annoying of which being a small message that pops up everytime i open my mailbox. i try to delete a message, and every single time i do so a message asking me if i'm "really sure" pops up! fricking bullshit, it is.

5 hour time difference. jet lag. writers block. sunburn. parents closely monitoring alcohol intake. sounds like a kick ass summer vacation to me!

gotta go raid the alcohol stash in the kitchen so my sister and i can make midnight margaritas....PEACE
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(no subject) [Jul. 26th, 2003|02:41 am]
i miss him.

i hate him.

therefore, i will learn his native language in addition to russian, so i can swear at him in his own fucking language. hahaha. CSI rules. Dropkick Murphys rule. Sleepytime Tea rules.
Crying sucks. So with that, to bed i go....
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Notes from Nimbus [Jul. 19th, 2003|12:12 am]
Have yet to met any PoFers at the Harry Potter Symposium. However, i did much enjoy the Switchblade Kittens performance, even though they played sans third bass player and drums. it was cute. the bassist was cute. damn, was he ever. heheheheh, what can i say, i've got a thing for spiky blond hair.

it seems to be getting hotter in this room. i have fiddled with the A/C countless times now. i also asked it very nicely to drop the temp to a comfortable 60 degrees, however it did not comply with my simple request. so i screamed at it, beat it, and even tried to bribe it with cajn potato sticks. nothing works! i am doomed to sleep in 70 degree HELL.

my sister lies asleep in her bed currently. i am going to put an M&M in her ear. heh.

i am naughty. HAHA!
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(no subject) [Jul. 12th, 2003|10:10 am]
[mood |awake]
[music |The Who]

Number of emails sent to camp-imprisonment brother: 4 (in last 24 hours)
Cigarettes smoked: 49 (i am definitely dying)
Number of Swedish words learned: 12
Number of Russian words learned: 15
Number of Russian words learned that are dirty/profane/uncivil: 12
Russian words learned that are non-offensive: from, six, refrigerator
Russian words I will remember tomorrow: 2
D'Onofrio sightings: 2
Number of times i've smacked myself for copying Bridget Jones: 0 (HAAAAAA! i know im doing it...i dont care!!!)

had an interesting evening tonight. got drunk with my dad and mom at dinner. became exceedingly bored after 10:30 when we returned from the evening supper. so i went out for a walk and ended up chilling with this bagpipe player and two chicks by the morrison bridge. will elaborate tomorrow when not quite so inebriated....perhaps.....heheheh....

i really miss someone
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(no subject) [Jul. 10th, 2003|01:08 am]
[mood |mischievous]
[music |maniacal laughter]

Day: Thursday morning (12:33 AM)
Mood: Ecstatic!
D'Onofrio sightings: two
D'Onofrio conversations: one
D'Onofrio hanky spanky: Sadly, none

He is the prettiest/most beautiful/tall/GORGEOUS man alive. i have fallen in love with a man four years younger than my own father. i'm sure that he is fully (and probably painfully) aware that i exist to read on the sidewalk outside the condos simply for the purpose of seeing his lovely face (/torso/legs/birkenstocks), but I dont care!
I spotted him once, around six AM, on the balcony. Do not ask why i was up. i will only say that several small bottles from the minibar were involved (goddamn bloodsuckers).

And then again, around eight PM, while i was having a smoke outside the condo. he bummed a smoke from me! i think i may be the happiest person alive!

now if only he would bring keanu reeves around to join the fun....according to IMDB, he is currently filming a movie called "Thumbsucker", with keanu. This would be filming in Beaverton, which would explain his residence next to me in portland. I AM SO OVER MY LAST TWO BOYFRIENDS! and all it took was a beautiful man asking to bum a smoke. Axel? Anthony? WHO ARE THEY??? i know no one beyond vincent!

however, my evil plan has yet to be put into effect. my sister and i will lure him in with a cup of coffee and a pack of smokes attached to the hook of a fishing line. he will chase it, no doubt. and when he gets to the red X, i will hop out from behind a benign looking tree with a fishing net and capture him! this is, of course, a stupid plan, and one that is liable to get us sued. but hell....what a way to go.

in other news -- Malibu's most wanted is a sham. don't bother renting it, even if you might be a fan of jamie kennedy (i myself am). it's heinous.

that is all. will update VERY soon. however, am needed on balcony, as said target may come out for smoke. situation unlikely, but possible.

oh yah -- for heavensdoor -- while at albertsons (yet another sham of a store in portland), sister and self checked out YM. ur boyfriends buddy could be a girl, if the necessary stylists were called in. its the cheekbones.
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