||[Aug. 8th, 2003|02:44 am]
|||||Zippy, like a tailless cat||]|
i've come to some seroius illumination this evening. for one...i spelled the word serious wrong earlier. too tired to bother with fixes. i'm watching Mtv, which is weird in itself, since i tend to avoid this station like i avoid contaminated meat and buildings with bombs, and the videos im seeing r just...well geez, i would love to scathingly comment, but there simply r no words.
take OFF that Oilers jersey Puff Daddy!! u never lived in houston! only those of us that had to live through and bear the neverending shame of the oilers can wear that jersey!! it's like surviving smallpox!! nothing ruins a cities morale like a national joke of a sports team.
for those of u keeping track, id say its rather obvious i just saw a puff daddy video. or p ditty. or p fatch. soon he wont even have a name. he'll be the playa formerly known as the artist who changed his name before. and he will be denoted by a great big diamond. haha. oh wait -- now we have a coldplay video, and thank fucking god.
some soulful, decent music. ok -- so it aint great. not my first choice, but shit, i'll take anything that doesnt have a million chicks shaking their asses. quick rundown of the trash they have played so far...
Mya -- a mediocre artist at best, i'd have to say. the title of her video: My loves like...Wo
goddammit bitch, get ur skinny ass back to school and learn how to spell, for starters. secondly, the lines of her song seem to follow a pattern..."my loves like wo, my bodys like wo, my ass is like wo, u know u want this baby, dig this baby"
apparently modesty isnt something mya's after. she shakes it, works it, displays it, and i'm sure plenty of male watchers r doin the same damn thing.
go home mya -- ur killing me with a tiny knife. thats two and half minutes of my life that i will NEVER get back! damn u...
50 cent. title of video: "P.I.M.P." do i really ave to say anything about this bullshit? u ain't gettin a dollar outta me, cause i'm a mothafuckin p.i.m.p. actually u r a CRACK DEALER!!! get him outta my sight! NEXT!
footnote: snoop dogg was pointedly left uncriticised. (no, i didn't spell 'uncriticised' wrong. thats how they spell it in britian. fuck off!) this is because snoop dogg rules. he's paid his dues -- ill overlook his former drug charges, and the fact that he is a convicted felon. dude...bow wow wow yippeeyo yippeeyay. don't call me a hypocrite! *chases off screaming mob with a large candlestick* one last time for good measure *whips out P.A. system* Snoop is a "mothatfuckin P.I.M.P.". he should sing that song. stick ur magic stick straight up ur ass 50 cent. now beat it!!!
more asses are shaking. does it ever stop?
dude, i'm on a damned roll, why fight it? this shall be termed as day of nonstop bitching. and dammit, i earned it. i puked off the side of fishing boat, AND we didn't get any fish! not even a bite! my vomit was orange, for anyone that cares to know this. hahah.
i saw this interesting new series today -- probably WB, always is. it was entitled "The O.C." definitely hooked me, however, this is because of all the hotties they have cast in the show. anyways, its sort of a fresh prince of bel air basis, except there is no laugh track and the main character broods more than anakin skywalker. anyways, he goes from rags to riches, by hitting the lottery when his public defender takes him under his wing in newport beach cali. then he goes to a "rich kid" party. and suddenly, i realized all the things i was missing!
by rarely going to parties at my high school, i was obviously missing these insane, high class parties where hired girls dance in bikinis, teens drink cocktails, people do lines on tables out in public, and everyone is model thin and wears designer.
dammit! why didnt someone tell me about this!!??
i just saw the funniest commercial ever. this guy puts a quarter in a condom machine, and the thing won't give him his purchase. so he starts smacking the machine, throwing things at it, karating it, divebombing it, and at the end, the machine goes MWAHAHAHAHA and spits a condom out over the guys lifeless body. hahahaha!
AHHHHHHHHH!!! A J-Lo video!!! Jens only known kryptonite!!! *dies and melts from pure disgust* HAHA, ur movie BOMBED! dirty slut! bitch! massive ASS! stealer of my time!! this is MY time J-Lo, get ur ring studded fingers off!!
GOD I TALK TOO MUCH! SOMEONE STOP ME!!